I love for real.

I dont waste my time on anything that a dont see a future with. Whats the point of me wasting time and someone or something that I wont get to see prosper, grow, make it or see the benifits.

God knows once Im your friend I am your friend ALL the way!

& thats why I say this:

Disclaimer: this picture is not owned by me or taken, design by me. :)

I met a gentlman.

(& Que sweet music)

I met a gentleman
He was everything I wanted
You know the guy you dream about
Awesome heart
Intelligent mind
Funny
Man of God
Loved music
Super talented
Bright future
Sweet when he needed to be
Serious when he needed to be
And a dash of spontonuity

Petfect recipe of a gentlman
Right?

Well, there is no such thing as perfect... (Record Scratches)

He lacked in his time. I was the leftovers of his time.

Never really getting to know him.

Not everything ends in Happily Ever After.

My past experiences has taught me.

I ask You for freedom...You broke every chain and gave me the key

The TRUE feeling of freedom
I desire to know it...

to be trapped in your own body
a prisoner of your mind
of your thoughts
you act on what you simply think.
your impulses control you

The feeling that you wish someone would know
someone would see pass the smile
and look pass your dark brown eyes
and rescue you

from self destruction.

Prophets couldnt prophecy it
Preachers didnt preach about it
and Teachers didnt teach me

no altar call could do it
no laying on of hands

HELP ME!!!

I scream quietly....
...but does anyone hear me?

God my only hope from bondage.

                                 
                                                           JOHN 11:43-44
And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.

And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with grave clothes: and his face was bound about with a cloth. Jesus said unto them, Loose him, and let him go.

Transperancy

Is it possible....that we can love.
I mean like really love the way that Jesus loved us
I know we can never love each other with that mass amount of love...
but just the WAY He did it
the intensity He felt in His heart....the depths of this love!
It had nothing to do with the body
He just wanted
to be ONE
to commune
To be with us always.
I guess I reflect my Father.
I too desire that oneness with you
To be around you
It has nothing to do with the physical
I just want to see you naked (lol)
YOUR HEART
Complete and total dependency on our Father....makes me love you.
How you desire to be like the greatess Man in my life
Intrigues me to know you more.
So for now.
I observe
until
its
time
to
awake
Love.

                                                    Song of Solomon 7:2
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires

4 months natural!! : )

I didnt think I could do it...but apperantly I did I cut my hair after my graduation. Well the rest of the relaxed part because my natural hair was growing out while I kept my weaves in (lol). So anywho today is the first day of september which marks my 4th month with NO RELAXERS OR STRAIGHTENERS! I honestly feel good my hair feels awesome, and I don't regret doing it only that I didnt do this sooner.

Heres a little history about how this all started. When I was a junior in high school I had went to a salon to get my hair done for the upcoming school year, as a junior, and so I went and the lady was so scared of my hair (lol) she said "what have you done to your hair?!". Come to find out all the weaves, gel, hairglues, braids and that stuff I did to my hair really destroyed my hair so she cut off at least 3 inches of my hair : (.

I finally started school and I so didnt want to go to school with my hair that short everybody said it was cute I hated it. So I don't know when I really decide to go natural, but I had decided after I graduated I was going to cut it and go natural.

So here Iam natural when I told some of my friends that I was going natural they were really shocked because they all knew me as "get my hair done twice a week". I was getting tired of doing my hair twice a week (even thought it was reall cute hahaha.)

When I cut my hair after graduation I felt good, I honestly felt free, and I felt like I can now express who I really am God did not create me with straight hair. If He wanted me to have straight hair I think he wouldve givven to me....im glad he didnt.

My hair is soooooo healthy, strong and thick. Its loose curls all over my head and Im loving it! I encourage people to go natural it will be the best descicion ever made. My hair has grown and everytime I look at the oicture of how short I cut it I laugh...I cant beleive I did that.

The couple worth writing about...

Recently I was at the house of the older couple. I mean like old like 50 or 60 old. So anyways I was at there house and they are the sweetest couple I ever met not only did they look like they were in love but their love for God was still going strong.

He would still do little stuff for her around the house like clean or cook and she would do the same for him. Now I always saw them, but I just thought they're old and since they're old they were still together, but I was wrong when I went to their house it was completely different they were still laughing together, having conversations about God, and wherever she was he was and vise versa.

This was amazing to me because for obvious reasons I was raised by my mother only, so to see that kind of love between to people and they were old, it was beautiful. Not to mention their kids who were as loving and kind as their parents. They would sit at the kitchen table and talk and laugh and make fun of each other.

I know to some people your like "so my family does that" but my family didn't me and my brother and sisters did but my mother or father was never there. So you'll probably never understand my view point and how happy I felt to see that there are families still out there who do these kinds of things.

They're never in a rush to do anything and out of their schedules they still have time for their family. To sit down and eat, and to talk. I know God is going to bless that couple not only have they showed me an example of what true love is but they've raised some great children who serve the Lord and walk in His ways I can see God now saying to them "well done thy good and faithful servant."

One night with the king (one of the best movies ever!)

This movie is taken straight from the book of Esther in the Bible (her name means star). It captured not only the love between the king(king Xerexes) and Esther, but courage to stand up for what is right for the persecution of Gods people, even when it might mean losing your own life.

My favorite part in the movie is when Esther goes before the king a second time and they have this conversation filled with meaning and she poured out her heart to him. Now the women who have been coming to him have all been adorned with jewlery I mean ALOT because even if they arent chosen by the king they get to keep it, but Esther who only wore her necklace that her parents gave to her before they died looked very simple, well when it came to the jewlery because her dress was soooo CUTE!

So King Xerexes says to her (paraphrased) "and how come you come with little jewlery do you think that low of yourself?" which makes sense but I think he was just shocked because jewlery didnt appeal to her the kings heart did (which she does say before he proposes!!) But before that Esther says this famous line that I love soo much she takes off her necklace the only remembrance of her parents and the only thing that holds her identity that she's Jewish she holds it out to him and says: "I give you my past, my present and my future" (OMG!!)

Even though King Xerxes took the necklace with no emotion like he didnt care he was kind of in the right seeing that he is a king. And that there were many women seeking to be his bride, but not all were sincere; he was simply gaurding his heart. But eventually at the end of the romantic and oh so lovely conversation he ends up proposing and the wedding was SO BEAUTIFUL!!! not to mention the wedding dress was CUTE!

THIS MOVIE IS A MUST SEE!!!